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Deep thought - and the book that kept me free from mental derangement.

During the second half of 2014 it seemed that having any deep thoughts would drive me that extra mile into madness that many times came knocking at my door.

2014 was a great year, but a year that also tried my nerves.

I do not understand why for us humans it is so difficult to think straight, without all the emotional baggage.

Reading "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" helped me stay sane, it helped me see that someone can write a crazy story, and probably by doing so kept his own mind from going over he edge.

Going back - Fishes will Fish.

Today it feels like I've gone back to being a salmon / today I get what a salmon feels like when going up the stream. I am not going to lay my eggs, but I am going back to the place I was born.

The shadows are getting longer, the road is filled with trucks and one has yo zigzag through them. The trees are familiar and the redness of the earth around them matches the color of he setting sun.

I got mixed feelings about it, I am going to a party and am going to meet the family that was never mine. People that know about me but don't know who I am. (People that might say harsh things, but who I mostly wouldn't want to talk to.)

I am going back after 11 years, but have never lived there, yet it has a strong take on me. Salmons must feel a similar thing going up the stream; meeting a familiar rock, a familiar turn and current. Meeting a familiar bear who will try to catch him, and all of this trouble just to go back to that familiar place and make sure his species doesn't fade away.